Monday, January 08, 2007

How to talk to your kids about sex

Well, I had "the talk" or "the sex talk" with my oldest boy. He’s 11. His 18 year-old unmarried cousin just had a baby. "How can that happen?" he asks. Other things have been happening and I knew it was time. We went out for coffee (decaf for him) and pie and a talk. It was a good talk, he didn’t quite understand it all, but we were both comfortable and it opened communication on the topic and I think that is the most important thing at this point. I say "the talk," but I believe it is the beginning of an education that will continue.

Here is an outline of what we covered:

The physical act: This blew his mind and I kinda backed off. "Just don’t get naked with a girl until you are married."

If you father a child, you are responsible for that child. That's why you are supposed to be married to have sex. That means marrying the girl if you aren't. Don’t have sex if you don’t want to marry her.

Sex is more than physical, there are a lot of emotions that go on, and it gets complicated, that's why we have divorces, broken hearts, etc.

Temptations: If you go to a friends house and a magazine or movie shows naked women, don’t look at it. If you give in to a temptation at a young age, it’s like you bend your own armor. What happens to metal when you bend it? It’s never the same and it’s weak. Satan will know this weak spot and use it against you your entire life. Not just this temptation, but any sin (anger, lying, etc).

We talked about more, but this is a good outline.

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1 comment:

Karen said...

I highly recommend the "God's Design for Sex" series of books. They start slow, but get progressively more detailed as you go through the series.

Next weekend is my daughter's turn to learn about growing up. She knows about body parts and sex, but we're taking the weekend, just the two of us, and going through Focus on the Family's Preparing for Adolescence series. It covers more than just birds and bees, but also inferiority, conformity, drugs, peer pressure, dating, love, self esteem, etc. I'm praying that it will be a good weekend of sharing.